86. 12 Pains Of Christmas

It is suppose to the most wonderful time of the year! Family and love ones getting together to celebrate this joyous occasion! That's what they want you to think. The famous family that knows the the craziness of Christmas, is the Griswolds. Need I say more?

It is the infamous 12 Pains Of Christmas:
Is finding a Christmas tree
Rigging up the lights
Hangovers
Sending Christmas cards
Five months of bills!
Facing the in-laws
The Salvation Army
Hearing, "I WANNA TRANSFORMERS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!"
Finding parking spaces
Stale TV specials
Singing Christmas carols

Take a listen : 12 Pains Of Christmas

The creator of 12 Pains, Bob Rivers was not too happy about Christmas

Being angry over the 12 pains of Christmas? Don't sweat it!

If Clark W. Griswold can do it, YOU CAN!

When shopping, go prepared!
When the family is coming over, be prepared!
When finding parking spaces, EYES OUT!
Finally, keep in mind, It is the most wonderful time of the year!

87. Traffic

Traffic. America's worst nightmare. I am not sure how traffic is even made. Yeah, there usually caused my accidents and construction. But in larger cities like New York City and L.A, traffic is an everyday thing!

 

You had a stressful day, and just want to get home and put your feet up. You pass a sign saying, expect around 1 hour of traffic.

 

Being angry about traffic? Don't sweat it!
You will get home eventually, and pack emergency            
music, food and drinks! Make it at least entertaining!

88. Ounce Of Milk Left In The Fridge

You pour that big bowl of cereal, and you are ready for a great morning. Opening the fridge, grabbing the carton of milk, there is not enough. When saying there is not enough, I mean if you have roughly 1/2 cup. That won't do justice when having your Cocoa Puffs. You do not have enough milk to start the day, and you do not have time to go to the store.

Being angry about the ounce of milk left in the fridge? Don't sweat it!

If you share a house and have roomies, grab a small pint size of milk and stick it in the back, and mark your name on it! If that doesn't work, there is always those Milk N' Cereal Bars! Just as good!

89. Muddy Paw Prints On A Freshly Mopped Floor

Oh those cute adorable puppies! Their little tails, little noses, little puppy legs!

I grew up with a Black Lab mix named Bailey. She is my little sister, and I absolutely love her. But when that rainy/snowy/muddy season comes around, those paws don't stay clean. After they are done doing their "business",  they come rushing in. You've seen it. They want a treat! So those 4 paw prints are now the new design on the floor. Mud...EVERYWHERE!


 

Being angry about muddy paw prints? Don't sweat it!

Just think-they are giving you that elbow grease exercise you need! And just keep a hand Swiffer Jet in the closet.  And for those little paws, keep in mind...you knew this was going to happen.

90. Not Fitting In Your Jeans After Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. The day to give thanks. The day to eat a crap load of food, and nap, or watch football. Oh the beautiful table!

Let's see...

Turkey,

Gravy,

Mash Potatoes,

Turkey,

Cranberry sauce,

Stuffing,

Turkey,

Corn,

Carrots,

Buns,
Gravy,
Turkey.

Oh look it here! Pie! We got..

Apple Pie
Pumpkin Pie
Chocolate Moose Pie
Key Lime Pie
Lemon Pie
Oreo Pie
Peanut Butter Pie
Blueberry Pie
Cranberry Pie
Pecan Pie

You ate like it was your last meal. You go out the next day; fabulous BLACK FRIDAY!
You find these absolutely cute pair of jeans that are marked half off from $50! You get back home to try them on...they wont fit? You always get that size!   Damn Thanksgiving dinner.

Being angry you don't fit into your post-Thanksgiving jeans? Don't sweat it!

Find ways you can work out! If you have a gym membership
use it! If not, walk the stairs and not the elevator. Eat healthy!
Do anything you can to shed those extra pounds off.

For next year, and even Christmas, if you know you are going to eat crazy, plan ahead!

It is the holidays! It is a known fact that you eat like crazy. But before you do sit down for Thanksgiving, wear your favorite pair of jeans. That way you will be able to portion yourself. Just keep in mind two things-

       *There will be PLENTY of leftovers.

       *Sweatpants are not attractive when you wear them
         3 days in a row.

91. Missing The T.V Show You Have Been Waiting All Week To See

I absolutely stink at remembering things. When something is on TV and I really want to watch it, I make a mental note. Those mental notes...do not work. I always hear...


"Catch the dramatic ending you do not want to miss Tuesday @ 9! New episode!"
Tuesday night then rolls around...it is 9:32. I miss it. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It was something I waited all week for!


 

Being angry over missing a TV show you have been waiting all week to watch? Don't sweat it!



There is a lot of things you can do!
Look for reruns
Get some really fun colored Post It notes,write your self a note
Set up an alarm on your cell phone

That way you can see that dramatic season finale!

92. Going On Your Tippy Toes

 

The beauty of being small. You have to do those extra workouts of going on your tippy toes to see things, grab things, pull things. Poor Barbie, she is stuck on those tippy toes! Who really wants to take those 5 seconds to grab a chair just to reach the Christmas lights on the shelf?

   

 

 

 

Always know, there are some benefits of tippy toes-

    * Tippy Toe hugs and kisses are the best.
    * You get a kick ass leg workout

    * You get to rock out heels anytime you   want

 
 
Being angry over going on your tippy toes? Don't sweat it!
Keep a stool handy, or just put the important stuff at arms reach!

93. Getting A Crappy Tip

Anyone who has worked at a restaurant knows it can be stressful. You work your ass off to make sure your table is satisfied. You go above and beyond to make sure they leave happy and full! 

 

When you give them the $45.32 bill, it is usually considerate to tip at least 15%...

"Bye Folks! Come again soon!"---you look down...$3.00.

You want to throw it back in their face and tell them to keep it.
Just like the movie Waiting. Is it something to really get upset about?
Yeah, its crappy.
Is there a way you can make the best of it?
Yes!

 

Being angry over a lousy tip? Don't sweat it!

Just remember, every dollar adds up. And there will be more tables!

94. Bumping Your Funny Bone

I think everyone has hit their funny bone at least once. It is not that funny. 

It really freaking hurts! You get a shot of tingly pain up your arm. 

Its uncomfortable and pisses you off.

Here is the actual funny part...it's not even your bone!!

Well, here is one thing you can do to trick yourself. Your brain controls everything. Fool it.

When you do hit that Ulnar Nerve aka Funny Bone...start singing, and moving your arms.

Start singing to Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" or start dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" 

Being angry over hitting your funny bone? Don't sweat it!
Fool your brain, dance and sing around! Don't react to the pain!

95. Trying To Staple Something, That Doesn't Have Staples

 

It is only common that a stapler is in any classroom, office, or desk. Throughout the day, people staple stuff! It is a requirement. But, when it comes to your turn...the luck is that there will not be any staples in the stapler. Get mad? Nah. There really is not anything to get mad about.

        
Being angry over no staples in the stapler? Don't sweat it!

Run out to Staples,
Office Max
or even the Dollar Tree
and purchase one for your desk!
Make it fun and creative!

96. Running Out Of "T.P" In A Public Bathroom

I have gone into a public bathroom and began to realize...there was no toilet paper; of course after the fact I went to the bathroom.  So causally, I had to do the awkward, "Excuse me Maam? Would you mind handing some toliet paper over? This stall ran out." I got the occasional laugh.

What are you suppose to do? Exactly...there really is not anything you could do.


Being angry over no T.P in the public bathroom? Don't sweat it!
Carry a small thing of tissues in your purse for this reason!

97. Stepping In An "Unseen" Puddles

Rain can be a good thing, and bad thing. You can love rainy days when you get to cuddle up on the couch all day and read or watch a movie. It can be a bad thing when you actually have to face the outdoors and encounter with it

 

 

 
Walking around campus, especially when its raining, was interesting. I do not walk with my head down! I would wear either Ugg like boots, or sneakers. All and all, my feet would be soaked! I was ready for a change.

 

 

 

RAINBOOTS!
Who would have thought? There are so many different patterns and designs that you can chose from. Why get mad for stepping in those unseen puddles and getting your pants wet?

 

 

 

 

 

Being angry over wet feet, or wet pants? Don't sweat it!
Go to www.target.com and invest in some cute $25.00 rainboots!

98. Road Rage

Just always know, there will be that one person on the road what will drive you nuts. There will always be that one person who has to ride your bumper until you go the speed limit your already driving. There will always be that one person who honks at you when you don't floor it when it turns green.

Here is the best part about road rage...after 2 minutes, they wont even remember whose bumper they were eating ! So...why get mad at these idiot drivers?

Being angry over bad drivers? Don't sweat it!
No need for flippin' the bird, turn up Peter Frampton's "Show Me The Way"and sing away!

99. Opening Bottles

Why do people insist on tightening bottles so only the amazing Incredible Hulk can open them? 

By the time your hands are red, sore, or bleeding...in some cases both, you don't even want to enjoy your taste glass of ice cold crisp Sprite. 

You want to take that ice cold glass and use it for your hand!
It really is crazy how tight some of these bottle caps are!




 

Being angry about opening a bottle? Don't Sweat it! Keep a $3.00 bottle cap opener handy!

100. Mechanical Pencils

BIC #2 mechanical pencils with the .5mm lead, they make the infamous sound that makes me cringe when I am on a roll with a math problem, or drawing, or anything important I am doing when it involves a pencil; snap.

Its always the same response from the college kid like myself...DAMNIT!

Then you hear the little "click, click, click," from the top of those mechanical pencils.

 
30 seconds later...DAMNIT!

Being angry about pencils? Don't sweat it! 
Keep a freshly sharpened Ticonderoga handy.